A Beautiful Friendship
by Mattricole
Summary: AU: On the first day of High School Saitama meets someone special... Who enjoys hurting him. A lot. If it wasn't for the fact she has no friends and comes off really lonely, he'd stay far away from the crazy esper known as Tatsumaki. Saisumaki.
1. Chapter 1

"One more year. Just one more year," Tatsumaki muttered, stifling a yawn as she made her way to school. She was in her final year of High school, the final year of being considered a child. Soon everybody would be treating her like the adult she was. Men would flock towards her mature demeanor, either asking her out or asking how to properly treat a lady.

"Not like I'd give them the time of day," she muttered with a smirk. She was far beyond their reach. If she were to start a relationship, whether platonic or not, the man would have to be her equal in every sense of the word.

...That or own a candy store, but she wasn't going to get her hopes up.

"Oi, little girl!" someone sang, causing her to growl in annoyance. She turned towards the voice and spotted several high schooler's, though from their uniforms they weren't from around here.

"I swear, if you're trying to pick me up, I'm going to hang your entrails on that tree over there," Tatsumaki threatened, and even the author doesn't know if it was an empty threat.

"Pick you up?" the guy repeated as he looked at his friends. "Oi, guys! This lil munchkin thinks we want a piece of her!" he laughed and was quickly joined by his group of friends, annoying Tatsumaki to no end.

"You're mocking me? Big mistake you-"

"Oi! What do you punks think you're doing?" someone called out from behind the group, causing them to turn around.

"Huh? Who're you?" one of the punks asked. Tatsumaki floated herself up, looking over the boys to see what was going on.

"Saitama," the boy, who wore the uniform of her school. "I'm a first year, and if you think I'm going to let you pick on some kid in elementary, then you got another thing-"

"WHO YOU CALLING AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOLER!" Tatsumaki yelled as she quickly flung him into a nearby tree, causing the delinquents to gasp in shock.

"W-what in the-"

"Hey! What was that for?!" Saitama yelled out, stubling out of the tree he was lodged into.

"You called me an elementary schooler!" she yelled as she flew up to Saitama and started poking his head. "Listen up, brat! I'll have you know I'm a senior in High school! I won't be mocked by some munchkin!"

"Munchkin?! I'm not the one who's four foot nothing!" Saitama yelled back, which was a huge mistake as he was crushed into the ground by a mysterious force.

"I'm still growing!" Tatsumaki claimed, stomping on Saitama's head for good measure. She then turned towards the bullies with a glare. "Now, what did you want from me?" she growled dangerously.

"Uh...uh..." the delinquents muttered, slowly backing away. "N-nothing!" they screamed as they quickly ran off, tripping over each other as they tried to get away from the psycho midget.

"Heh. Just as I thought," Tatsumaki said with a smirk. She turned back to Saitama, hearing him groan as he slowly picked himself up.

"You're not a very friendly person, are you?" Saitama moaned, rubbing his aching head.

"Hmph! Why should I be?! I don't need or want any friends!" she replied.

"Huh? You don't have friends?"

"Nope."

"Me neither..."

'Ugh, here we go,' Tatsumaki thought with annoyance. 'Now the brats gonna ask if we can be frie-'

"Well, see ya," Saitama said as he turned around and walked away.

"The answers no- WAIT A MINUTE!" Tatsumaki screamed as she flew in front of Saitama. "Where do you think you're going?! Weren't you going to ask me if we could be friends?!"

"...But I don't wanna be your friend," Saitama casually said.

"Y-you don't want to be..." Tatsumaki trailed off, a blood vessel popping out of her head. "Y-you stupid brat! You should be begging to be my friend! Begging!"

"...Ah, I get it," Saitama muttered, slapping his fist.

"Ah, so you finally understand how great it would be to have someone like me as your frie-"

"You're really lonely, aren't you?"

"...You're the one who's lonely!" Tatsumaki accused, earning a chuckle from Saitama.

"I'm not the one desperately looking for a friend," he replied.

Tatsumaki said nothing as she glared at the boy in front of her, before finally smashing him into the ground with her telekinesis. "I'm not looking for a friend! I'm just trying to show you why you would want to be my friend!"

"...By smashing me into the ground?" Saitama asked incredulously. He just couldn't figure this midget out! What was her deal?!

"With my psychic abilities! Don't you think that's cool?!"

"Anyone can slap people into the ground. You don't need psychic powers for that," Saitama said as he brushed himself off.

"W-what?" Tatsumaki muttered as Saitama walked away. There was no way this guy didn't want to be her friend! 'He must be playing hard to get,' she concluded, after all, who wouldn't want to be her friend? The short answer to that was plenty, but she ignored that fact as she blocked off Saitama once again.

"Eh? You again?" Saitama sighed. At this rate he really would be late to school.

"Alright, you win," Tatsumaki said with a smile, confusing Saitama.

"Eh? What did I win?"

"You wanted to be friends so badly, I'm actually starting to pity you."

"What? No, I don't wanna be-"

"I'll be your friend, so carry my stuff," Tatsumaki demanded as she threw her bag at Saitama. "Now come on, before we're late!"

"B-but, I don't..." Saitama muttered as he watched Tatsumaki fly off ahead of him, before sighing. "What a troublesome midget," he said to himself as he followed after Tatsumaki.

And that was the start to a beautiful, yet incredibly painful, friendship.

* * *

Do you guys have skype? Do you want to find a place to talk to fellow One Punch Man fans? Or are you looking for a place to find pre-readers and editors? To discuss story ideas and get advice on how to write? Then the One Punch Man skype group is for you!

I'm planning on opening up a One Punch Man skype group and if you wanna join up let me know! My skype name is Mattricole, so send me a message on skype and BE SURE to let me know you wanna join the one punch man group that way I know you're not a bot. Hoping to see a bunch of you there!

Now I don't think I'll have to say this, but I will. If you decide to join the one punch man skype group you MUST treat others with respect. Do you hate Saigenos but there's a member who does? Don't be a dick. You hate Tatsumaki and others love her? Don't be a dick. Kinda obvious, but I just wanted to let you know.


	2. Lunch and After School Plans!

"Now, who can tell me the year mysterious beings first started appearing?" Professor Zilch asked, briefly locking his gaze with Saitama's, grinning as he licked his chapped lips.

'Please don't call me. Please don't call me,' Saitama prayed, having not payed attention in class at all. It's not like he was slacking off, he just...didn't care!

"How about you, Saita-"

The ringing of bells interrupted Professor Zilch.

"Ah, I guess you get away this time, Saitama-ku-ku-ku-kun," he laughed, making Saitama burst out into a cold sweat.

'What the heck is this old guy's problem?!' he thought with a sigh. First the crazy midget and now the eerily freaky teacher. Why couldn't his first day of high school be more peaceful?! He sighed as he got out his lunch, there was no point in dwelling on it, that wouldn't solve anything. If his father ever taught him anything in his life, it's that in order to solve your problems you need to face them head on.

"Hey, Saitama." He felt someone poking his cheek.

"Eh?" he turned and immediately felt his stomach drop.

"As my newly anointed friend, I hereby give you permission to eat with me and Fubuki on the roof." Saitama pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Why are you making it out to be some kind of honor?" he immediately regretted said question as an invisible force slammed him into the ground.

"Quit back talking already!" Tatsumaki demanded as she dragged him off to the rooftop. "It's not like I want you there, I just want to show you to Fubuki."

"What am I, a dog?!" He certainly felt like a disobedient puppy being dragged by the leash. "Can't you let go already! I can walk you kn-OW OW OW OW!" he screamed as she dragged him up the stairs.

"Huh? Oh, right," Tatsumaki muttered as she stopped dragging Saitama up the stairs.

"Th-thank you-" and started levitating him above her head. "I can walk, you know!"

"Do you ever stop whining?" Tatsumaki asked, dropping him as soon as they made it to the rooftop. "Come on, my sister's waiting."

"Damn midget," he muttered, though luckily Tatsumaki failed to hear him.

"Oh, h-hey sis," Fubuki greeted, though she looked as if she'd rather be anywhere else but here. She had short, black hair and was about as tall as Saitama.

"Huh, I thought dwarfism was genetic?" Saitama asked aloud, earning himself a glare (and a one way ticket to the ground).

"I'm still growing!" Tatsumaki yelled, scoffing at Saitama as she went to sit down next to Fubuki.

"Uh...Sis? Who is that?" Fubuki asked, looking at Saitama as he slowly dragged his way towards where they were sitting.

"That's Saitama. He's my new friend."

"Friend?!" Fubuki repeated, looking back and fourth between the two. 'B-but sis was never interested in having friends! So why now?!' Fubuki asked as she racked her brain for an explanation. Was Tatsumaki finally getting tired of her? And if so, would that mean she would be spending less time with her and more time with this Saitama?

"You're really violent, you know? This isn't how friends treat friend!"

If that were the case, that would mean Fubuki could finally get her chance to make her own friends! Finally, she wouldn't have to spend all her free time on Tatsumaki! She could have her own group, a group so big they would need their own cafeteria table! They would all laugh at Fubuki's amazing jokes and gaze in awe at her telekinetic abilities!

"You knew what you were signing up for when you wanted to become friends, so stop whining!"

And after school they could hang out at amusement parks, the movies, and... and... and whatever else kids did these days! 'It's going to be amazing!' Fubuki thought with a grin. All she had to do was nurture her sisters newfound friendship and she would be set for life!

"You have got to be the worst friend imaginable," Saitama sighed, earning a growl from Tatsumaki.

"I'm a great friend! I'll prove it! Hey, Fubuki," Tatsumaki called out, snapping Fubuki out of her stupor. "In order to show Saitama how much of an amazing friend I am, we're all going out somewhere after school, alright?"

"...Wait, 'we're all', as in, I'm going as well?" Fubuki asked, pointing at herself to emphasize.

"Is that a problem?"

"Uh..." Fubuki trailed off. 'Quick, Fubuki, think! If I'm spending all my time with these two, I'll never make my own friends!' She racked her brain, trying to figure a way out of this, when it hit her. "Ah, no can do sis," Fubuki said casually as she ate out of her bento.

"Huh? Why not?!"

"Because it's customary never to take your younger sibling with you when hanging out with friends," Fubuki replied. "It makes for a very... Poor impression."

"Poor impression?" Tatsumaki muttered, the two words irritating her to no end, much to Fubuki's delight. Tatsumaki would never want to give off a poor impression (despite doing so on numerous occasions), Fubuki knew doing so would hurt her sister's ego. "Alright... How do I make a good impression?"

"Not slamming your friends into the ground?" Saitama offered, picking at a loose tooth. "Man, I really hope that's my last baby tooth..."

"Oh, quit being such a baby," Tatsumaki waved off and turned back to Fubuki. "Well? What should I do?"

"Well, you could... Uh," Fubuki thought for a second, before deciding to just give her a half assed answer. "Just take him out to a cafe or something."

"A cafe?" Tatsumaki muttered under her breath. "That sounds like a good idea. As expected of my adorable little sister."

"...Big sister sounds more appropriate."

"For a guy who complains about getting smashed into the ground, you sure ask for it a lot," Tatsumaki growled, glaring daggers at Saitama. "Whatever, just remember we're going out later today, and if you ditch me..." Tatsumaki trailed off as she turned to a large tree by the school.

"Uh, what are you-" Saitama stopped mid sentence as Tatsumaki lifted the tree high above the ground and used her powers to tear it to shreds. "...Oh," he muttered as he broke out into a cold sweat.

"See you after school, Saitama," Tatsumaki waved as she and Fubuki left the rooftop, leaving Saitama by himself.

"...I wonder if it's too late to transfer schools," he muttered to himself, staring at his uneaten bento before digging in.

* * *

Oh my god, thanks to everyone who faved and reviewed! I'm so glad you guys like it and I really hope I don't disappoint!

Oh, and ten points to whoever figures out who Saitama's teacher is! Here's a hint: He's in episode 1.


	3. Ice Cream

A/N: I'm not good at author notes...

* * *

Though he would have preferred running away as fast as humanly possible, in the end Saitama decided that his best bet for survival was to simply humor Tatsumaki which was why he was currently walking beside her to wherever she was taking him. Besides, he was hungry anyways.

"So, where are we going?"

"I don't go out often, so I'm still thinking about it," Tatsumaki replied, twisting and turning in the air as she looked for the perfect place. "So is there a particular place you wanna go?"

"I'm good for anything, really," Saitama said with a shrug, provoking a groan from Tatsumaki.

"I'm trying to be nice and treat you to someplace but you won't even tell me what you want?" she muttered angrily. "Whatever, then we'll get what I want," she said as she pointed at a nearby cafe.

"...Ice cream?" Saitama muttered.

"Chocolate ice cream with sprinkles and strawberry syrup and a cherry on top that's covered in chocolate and comes with a side of banana pudding with mango cream in the middle with a raspberry coated chocolate truffle and-"

"Uh, I get it," Saitama said as he followed a drooling Tatsumaki.

The two sat down at a corner booth, Saitama patiently waiting while Tatsumaki was practically bouncing on her seat.

"Come on, come on, where's the waiter?" she whined, much to Saitama's amusement.

"You really like sweats, huh?" Saitama asked, causing her to blush.

"S-so?! Haven't you ever heard 'you are what you eat'?"

Saitama simply stared back at her with a blank look, not understanding where she was going with this.

"Essentially, I enjoy sweets simply because I'm a very sweet person-"

"Pffft!"Saitama choked back a laugh. "I-I'm sorry, but I don't think that saying applies to..." he trailed off, sensing the immense killing intent from across the table.

"Ha ha, you're so funny, I can hardly handle it." Tatsumaki chuckled humorlessly. "It's almost as if you're implying that I'm bitter and cold hearted, but of course, as my friend, you would never think that, right?"

"N-no, I would never..." Saitama trailed off, for the first time in his life choosing his words carefully. "Ah! I just remembered I don't really know much about you," he said in what he would hope wasn't a futile attempt to get out of his current predicament.

"Me? You want to know more about me?" Tatsumaki asked, pleasantly(?) surprised that he actually took interest in her life. "Alright, I suppose I could tell you about my life."

"Yeah, like, do you have any hobbies- Wait, what?"

Tatsumaki starts explaining that as a child her parents sold her off to researchers and for a year or so she was held captive, forced to use her powers and had zero companionship. They wouldn't even let her see her family. Eventually a monster broke loose and killed dozens and when it went to kill her she used her powers to defend herself. She then forcibly left the facility to find Fubuki.

"It all started when I was five."

"We're going back that far?" Saitama muttered, dread filling his body as he finally realized what was happening. He was getting an overly long backstory.

"One day a mysterious group visited our family. They had learned of my psychic powers and wanted to test my capabilities. My parents sold me off, like a farm animal, and I was taken away from Fubuki. For three long years I was separated from my family, from the outside. I had forgotten what it was like to gaze at the wide, open sky, to breathe in the salty air at the beach. There were times I even almost forgotten what my sister looked like. Eventually I decided to refuse to use my powers. I thought if I did that they would let me see my sister, but instead they locked me up in a small, dark room. Not long after a monster broke out. I begged and pleaded for them to let me out. I was just a child, I didn't want to be devoured. No one came for me. No one would save me. The monster found me and broke into my cell, and do you know what happened? I killed it. I killed it and forced my way out of that research facility. I vowed that day that I would do whatever it takes to protect Fubuki from the horrors I experienced for those hellish three years."

"...I see," Saitama said, his heart sinking, unable to imagine what Tatsumaki's childhood must have been like. "You've been through a lot, haven't-"

"A few months later was Fubuki's birthday."

"Eh?"

"She was wearing such an adorable dress, with a little ribbon tying her hair. Because I missed out on three years of her life I took as many photos as I could. She was dancing and singing in the yard with all her friends, and I couldn't help but laugh along."

"Ah, that's cute-"

"That was the day she awakened her psychic abilities. The other kids started messing around, jumping on her. Her psychic barrier prevented them from hurting her, but after awhile she stared crying and begging them to stop. But they wouldn't listen! So I had to step in and I made them stop."

"Ah, is that right? You're such a good sis-"

"I bought Fubuki a cute little skirt that year. It was green, like my hair. She loved the skirt and thanked me so many times that day. She was all, 'Sister, you're so nice and cool! I love you!' Oh, seeing her bright and beaming smile brightens my day, no matter how dark it was before."

"...You sound really close-"

"Ah, and when we were eating cake, she would try to feed me with her cute, tiny little hands-"

"Enough! Get to the point in twenty words or less!" he demanded, slamming his fist on the table.

"My point? My point is this," she said as she leaned over, gazing directly into Saitama's eyes. "Everyone's always after something. I'm not going to let my sister or myself be manipulated ever again, and that's why I don't need friends."

"That was twenty-four words," Saitama muttered, rubbing his temples in annoyance. "And does that mean I can go?"

"No!" Tatsumaki shouted, rubbing her head in irritation. "Why are you so eager to leave? Don't you want to be my friend?!"

"...Not really," Saitama said as he picked his nose, much to Tatsumaki's disgust.

"I see," she growled. "You're clearly more thick headed than I thought. I'll have to try harder to get you to see why you would want me to be your friend," she said as she stood up from her chair. "I'll be back in a minute, I got business to take care of," she said as she floated away towards the restrooms.

"Okay," Saitama said as he waved her off, more confused than ever before. If she didn't want friends then why was she so eager to be his friend? Was it that she wanted friends, but due to her past she has a hard time expressing herself? He sighed as he began flipping through the menu. "It's not really any of my business anyways."

"Oi, brat!" a couple of kids his age walked up and kicked his table. "How about yous and me walk outside for a bit? I thinks we can comes to an...arrangement," the kid chuckled.

"...Okay?" Saitama replied with a shrug. 'Why do all the weirdos want something from me?' he thought as he got up and followed the pushy kid.

Not two seconds later Tatsumaki returned to her table to find it empty.

"...He ditched me," she growled, a green aura emanating from her body as she tried, to no avail, to conceal her anger. "How dare he?!" she yelled as she quickly rushed out of the establishment and flying straight into the air.

"I'll find him! I'll find him and give him a good thrashing," she swore to herself. "He couldn't have gotten far, not on those stubby..." she trailed off, spotting Saitama not too far away, only he wasn't alone.

Curiosity gripping her, she floated down and snuck up on Saitama and the group that was currently surrounding him, what appearing as their leader gripping his collar in a threatening manner.

"What do yous mean yous won't help us?!" he shouted, pushing Saitama away. "Aren't yous annoyed at how dat bitch is treating yous?!"

"...Eh," Saitama shrugged. "She's not that bad. Sure, she's constantly threatening me, but she offered me free ice cream, so it isn't all bad," he replied, earning a shocked look from everybody, including Tatsumaki.

"Y-yous idiot!With how that bitch treats yous, yous should be-"

"Hey, can you stop calling her a bitch? That's kinda rude," Saitama asked, though it sounded more like a demand. "And besides, don't you think it's a bit cowardly for a whole group of guys to gang up on one person? That just seems... Pathetic."

"P-pathetic?" The gang leader repeated, the word ringing in his ears. "You're asking for it, you know that, right?!"

"Yeah, yeah. I got it," Saitama said as he picked his left ear. "Look, I got to get back before Tatsumaki finishes taking a dump, so if we could hurry this along..."

"After we beat your ass, we're gonna beat your girlfriends ass!" The gang leader chuckled, earning a glare from Saitama.

"She's not my girlfriend. She's..." he trailed off, thinking of the right word before a small smile came upon his face. "She's... an acquaintance." And those words reverberated into Tatsumaki's very soul.

"A-acquaintance?" she muttered to herself, watching Saitama ready himself for a fight. "He doesn't consider me a friend, but..." she trailed off, not understanding what was going on. She wasn't his friend, but he was still willing to protect her? Why? And for what?

" _She's not that bad. Sure, she's constantly threatening me, but she offered me free ice cream, so it isn't all bad,"_

Ice cream. He was willing to fight for her because of ice cream? It didn't make sense, though from what she could gather from spending the day with him, he never did make sense. He was... He was...

...What was he?

"...Eh, I guess it doesn't matter," Tatsumaki muttered, shrugging to herself. What she did know was that she didn't want Saitama to get hurt because of her, and to that end she would prote-

"Gah!" she was cut off by her musings as she heard Saitama cry out in pain as he was being stomped on by the other kids.

"...Oops," she muttered, mentally kicking herself before slamming the wannabe gangsters into the ground. Feeling slightly bad for being out of it, she tentatively made her way to Saitama, who slowly rose to his feet.

"W-why am I always the one to lose?" he asked, though he sounded more annoyed than sad. Tatsumaki never offered an answer, unsure of what to say. So she just looked at the kids on the ground, giving the leader a good kick just because. Eventually the silence became too much, and Tatsumaki realized she would have to be the one to break it.

"...You alright?" Was the best she had.

"Only thing wounded is my pride," Saitama sighed. "Thanks, by the way," he said as he turned to her wit a smile.

"Eh, no problem."

Once again, silence reigned between the two, and after a few more moments Saitama decided he would be the one to break it.

"Wanna go back inside for our ice cream?"

"...Sure!" Tatsumaki beamed, the thought of sugary deliciousness erasing all feelings of embarrassment and guilt. She couldn't stop herself from smiling as she followed Saitama back to the ice cream cafe, and though she would never admit it, but after only one day Saitama already had a very special place in her heart.


	4. 7 Years Later

_7 Years Later..._

Tatsumaki had always thought of herself as a rather level headed person. She had never killed someone, no matter how great her desire was, and whenever she spoke with someone it was always with the respect they deserved.

"I swear, I'll pay you back."

"That's what you said last time!" Saitama deserved none, seeing as how he was currently kneeling in front of her, begging for money yet again. "If I keep lending you money you'll never learn! This is tough love." Though she said that, the true reason she refused to lend Saitama money was because she didn't actually have any after paying her own bills, not to mention finally paying off Fubuki's university bills for the year.

"...I'll make you a cake."

"...What kind?" she asked, slightly intrigued.

"Chocolate ice cream cake?" he offered, knowing full well she could simply buy it herself.

"...When do you need it?" she gave in, much to Saitama's delight.

"Well, if I don't pay today I'm going to get kicked out-"

"Today?! Why didn't you ask me a week ago?!" Tatsumaki shouted, watching Saitama get up from the ground.

"I had a job interview, you knew that," Saitama said with a laugh. "Oi, if you're having a hard time remembering things, it might be a sign you're over stressed."

"You're the one making me stressed!" she shouted back, pulling at her hair in agitation. "Your idiotic, lackadaisical attitude is going to get you kicked out of your apartment! Aren't you worried?!"

"...Eh," Saitama said with a shrug as he grabbed his business jacket and swiftly put it on. "If I do get kicked out, I'll just move in with you for a bit," he said as he put on his shoes on. "Well, I have another interview, I'll pay you back next week if I get the job!" Saitama waved as he left the house, leaving Tatsumaki all alone.

"...Idiot," she muttered, her heart drumming in her chest at the thought of living with Saitama, though she had no idea why. "It's anger! I'm angry that he would move into my place just like that without asking, that's all!"

That little white lie was the only reason she was able to sleep at night.

"I'm sorry, but you currently have a balance of fifty yen..." the bank teller informed.

"Yeah, I figured," Tatsumaki growled, pinching the bridge of her nose to ward off an incoming headache. After paying off her own bills, not to mention Fubuki's, she knew that she didn't have anywhere near the amount of money Saitama would need. 'Looks like I need to go bounty hunting again,' she thought as she got up from her seat. 'From what I can recall, there's a B-class bounty in Z city and an A class bounty in B city-' her thoughts were interrupted when all of a sudden the banks doors crashed open.

"What the?" Tatsumaki muttered as she looked at the entrance, spotting a young woman in a typical white lab coat.

"Mwuhahahaha!" she cackled, holding up two vials of some sort of pink substance. "I am PROFESSOR MAMMARIES! And I am here to ENHANCE YOUR FEATURES!" She sang, her own...features bouncing around, much to the delight of the nearby men. "Now, men, please move away from the woman so I can begin the...procedure."

Most of the men quickly skedaddled to the other side of the room, hooting around like wild animals, while the few men who actually respected woman and all bust sizes stayed where they were, looking at Professor Mammaries with disgust.

"Let the procedure begin," Professor Mammaries said, receiving a standing ovation from the men who obeyed her orders.

"Do it! Do it! Do it!" the cheered and clapped, causing Professor Mammaries to chuckle.

"Who says I'm here to increase women's bust size?" she said with a devilish smirk, causing the men to break out into a cold sweat. "Oppai! Oppai! Oppai!"! she shouted as she threw a strange liquid at the sorry excuse for men, covering them in the pink goop.

The effects were immediate, the men's breast all grew into gigantic proportions, giving them a lovely D-cup, though they all screamed in despair.

"Yes! Scream in despair, my test subjects! And bounce your newly acquired assets for all to see-"

"Shut up," Tatsumaki growled as she slammed the woman to the ground. "You're disgusting," Tatsumaki spat out, picking up the professor with her telekinesis. "Huh, you look familiar?" she muttered, before realizing this woman had a B-class bounty on her head. "How convenient, looks like I don't have to go out of my way for the A-class after all," she said with a smirk as she was about to make her way towards the police station.

"W-wait! What about us?!" one of the disfigured(?) men asked. Tatsumaki turned towards the man with an uncaring glare.

"What do you expect me to do? Just go to a hospital or something," she said as she quickly flew away, ignoring the cries for help from the... well rounded individuals.

* * *

"Four. Five. Six," Tatsumaki counted as she left the police department with money in hand, her eyebrow twitching in anger. "That quack was only worth seventy-thousand yen? I should have just ignored her," she muttered as she made her way downtown to Saitama's rundown apartment.

"Oi, Tatsumaki!" Tatsumaki sighed as she heard the grating voice of Saitama's landlady. "When am I getting my rent money?! If you don't give it to me soon I'm going to-"

"Shut up!" Tatsumaki shouted back, floating towards the landlady. "I got your money right here, now shut it!" she yelled as she shoved thirty-six thousand yen into the old hag's hands.

"Bout time," she muttered, counting the money as she went back inside her den.

'Probably to practice her voodoo or something stupid,' Tatsumaki thought as she glared daggers at the old hag. It took all of her willpower not the crush the old hag like a ant. Shaking the thought away she quickly counted the rest of her cash. "Thirty-four thousand yen..." she muttered. It wasn't much but it should last... Well, it wouldn't last her long, but Saitama was stingy so it should be okay. Sure, he only asked her for a bit of rent money, but she had the feeling Saitama would need the extra cash.

She came up to Saitama's door and unlocked it with her key and made her way inside, taking thirty-three thousand yen on the counter and keeping the rest for herself. "That should be enough for lunch" At least, she hoped it would be. Sighing to herself she made her way out of the apartment, making sure to lock the door.

After a brief adventure to the convenience store for a couple of bento, she returned to Saitama's apartment, finding the tenant...

"What are you doing?" Tatsumaki asked carefully, poking the body on the ground.

"I'm trying to fall into an eternal slumber," he replied, ignoring the pokes and jabs. A vein popped out of Tatsumaki's head, knowing full well what happened.

"You got rejected again?" she growled, earning another sigh from Saitama.

"Yeah," he said, finally rising to his feet.

"Are you even taking this seriously?" Tatsumaki scolded as she poked Saitama on the forehead. "I can't keep babysitting you! I have my own bills to pay, I have to pay Fubuki's college tuition, I can't afford to take care of you, two!"

"Yeah, that's true," Saitama shrugged, not really bothered by Tatsumaki's scolding. "Well, I still have a couple of job interviews later today, Maybe I'll get in somewhere."

"Can't you at least get a part time job or something?" she asked as she grabbed the two bentos out of her bag and handed one to Saitama. "I'm sure you can get into one of the grocery stores or something."

"Maybe," he shrugged, smiling at how Tatsumaki got him salmon, she knew him well. "You staying the night?"

"There's an A-class bounty in B city I'm gonna check out after lunch." she said as she began digging into her food. "If I can catch the guy I'll make one million yen, so I should be set for a few months-"

"One million yen?!" Saitama shouted out as he nearly choked on his food. "Oi, if this guy's worth that much, don't you think he might be a bit much for yo-" It had been a long time since he felt the pull towards the earth but it was just as painful as he remembered.

"Don't underestimate me," Tatsumaki muttered angrily. "I've taken down B-class bounties with ease, I doubt this is much different." And with that she confidently strode out of the apartment.

"G-good luck," Saitama muttered as she closed the door. He couldn't stop himself from worrying, sure, Tatsumaki was the strongest person he knew, but could she handle an A-class criminal? He sighed, rising from the ground and dusted himself off. He should be concentrating on his next job interview and besides, Tatsumaki could handle herself.

...Right?

* * *

A/N: I'll try to make chapters longer, but I prefer small, quick updates over long updates that take a month or two to write, most likely cause I'm a slow writer. Oh, and I was gonna make chapter 4 and 5 high school chapters but I couldn't think of anyway to expand them while making it funny. Just wasn't coming to me. Doesn't excuse the large timeskip, but hopefully the next few chapters will be good enough where you, the readers, don't really mind.


	5. Omake 1

A/N: I want the romance to be slowly build for this story, but I understand some people just want to see Saitama and Tatsumaki be adorable together. So I'll make some omake's when I'm having trouble writing the next chapter.

* * *

A sigh of content escaped from Tatsumaki's lips as she cuddled up against Saitama. She felt his arm wrap around her, pulling her even closer to the point she almost couldn't breath.

"You're going to make me fall back asleep," she giggled, though she made no attempt to escape from his grasp.

"Eh, it's not like we got anything to do today."

"Rover needs food. You do remember what happened last time when we didn't feed him, don't you?" she asked, finally willing herself away from her boyfriend.

"Y-yeah, he sure did cause a lot of trouble," Saitama muttered. It took days for Genos to be fully repaird, and weeks for the stench to go away. He was tempted to get rid of Rover, but he knew no one else would take in the ugly, mutated hound, so he chose to forgive and forget.

"YOU DAFT, FOUL BEAST! THAT BELONGS TO SENSEI AND TATSUMAKI-DONO!"

Hearing Genos screaming and hollering, the two sighed as they slowly rose from bed.

"INCINERATION!"

And then they proceeded to run as fast as they could to stop the ensuing battle.


	6. Bounty and Training

Though she didn't really feel like it, Tatsumaki had decided to fly all the way to City B instead of taking the train. It was much quicker, but it also left her feeling a bit drained. She stifled a yawn as she looked over the city from above.

"Maybe I should have taken the train after all," she muttered, rubbing away the sand from her eyes. At least then she could have taken a nap. "Oh well, the sooner I find that creep the sooner I can go home and sleep."

Tatsumaki flew down to the ground, landing in front of a bounty poster of the villain she was hunting, taking a cursory glance at it.

"Last spotted downtown, in the abandoned factory section..." Not caring about any other information such as his strengths or weaknesses, Tatsumaki quickly flew off in the direction of downtown, feeling confident her abilities would make this an easy mark.

It wasn't long during her trip to downtown that she could tell she was nearing her mark, he wasn't being very subtle. Scattered across the entire area were small craters, each filled with at least one person. Men, women, and even children laid within each crater, gasping and groaning in what she imagined to be unbearable pain.

"Is this the work of the bounty?" she wondered aloud. "If so, he must either have incredible strength or he has similar powers to mine..."

"Similar? Hah, that's quite the insult."

Tatsumaki turned towards the voice, not at all surprised that her prey came to her, and instantly felt the urge to hurl up her lunch, for in front of her stood the most gaudily dressed man she could have ever imagined: A tuxedo covered in gold pins and a stylish(?) arctic fox coat covered in festive tinsel. The man smiled, twirling around, basking in the attention Tatsumaki was currently giving him.

"Ah! Entranced by my, Monologue's, amazing fashion sense? Like a bird fixated on a golden feather and wanting to make it theirs, you gaze at my clothing, asking, neigh, begging god to give you even an ounce of my fashion sense."

"...What?" Tatsumaki could only mutter, beyond confused as to what was happening.

"But you cannot simply want the fashion sense like mine, Monologue's. You'll have to work for it!" he cackled as he walked up to Tatsumaki, sizing her up. "Yes, I can tell you could grow to be quite the nuisance for me, Monologue! Just as a baby lion could endanger a grown lion in the future as they struggle against each other for-"

"Yeah, I get it!" Tatsumaki screamed, causing Monologue to frown. "Can we get on with-"

"You. Are. My. Gravity!"

"...Wha-AAAAH!" suddenly a great pressure brought Tatsumaki to her knees, her bones would be dust if not for her natural psychic barrier. She gritted her teeth in annoyance as she tried to stand. 'Damn, I underestimated him!'

"Hoho, what's this?" Monologue asked with a devious smirk. "Though you have no chance of winning, you still try to stand against my gravitational powers? Much like a mouse cornered by a cat, you leap and claw at the cats face instead of laying down dead! Quite brave," Monologue stated, tapping his chin in thought. "Though in your current state you can't do anything, you could be quite troublesome in the future, much like a baby Eagle to my venomous snake, you could grow to be quite the-"

"Oh, shut up already!" Tatsumaki yelled as she created a bubble barrier, allowing her to move as if the gravity around her were normal. "You're an idiot if you think this basic attack can hold-"

"You are my. GRAV!" Weight piled on top of Tatsumaki like a sack of bricks. "I!" The floor below her started to crack and cave in. "TY!" She gritted her teeth, concentrating on her barrier as a crater formed below her from the immense gravitational pull.

"You're really starting to piss me off," she growled, causing Monolgue to cackle.

"You're powers are quite impressive! Even when using my full powers against you, you are able to resist, like a vegan who hasn't eaten in three weeks and comes upon a pork cutlet bowl, you resist the temptations to give in, as if-"

"Shut up!" Tatsumaki screamed as she twisted Monologue's arms and legs with her telekinesis, breaking them and causing him to scream in agony.

"Q-quite impressive," he muttered, gasping desperately for air. "Like an angry honey badger looking for food in a deserted ice cream stand, you-"

"I said, 'shut up'!" Tatsumaki yelled as she began slamming him into the ground over and over again, pausing for mere seconds.

"A-as if possessed by a demon who has been tantalized by fruits and vegetables made from the succulent nipples of a god, you-"

And continued said slamming whenever he would speak up. Only after several minutes of this, Monologue finally seemed to have passed out, though she continued on for good measure. A minute later he was on the verge of death. Not particularly caring, Tatsumaki shrugged and rushed off to the police department. If he died now she would only get half the bounty.

"Th-though my body is battered and broken, I shall return, much like a kernel of corn carelessly swallowed whole by a child, I shall surprise you from behind. You will have no way of knowing of my existence until-"

"Ignore him. Just ignore him," she told herself, using all of her willpower to stop herself from throwing him headfirst into the ocean. She was starting to wonder if a million yen was really worth all this trouble.

* * *

"That was a pain in the ass," she muttered, looking at her newly filled bank account. A small smile came upon her face, with all the money she got from the idiot she wouldn't have to worry about cash for quite awhile.

"Well, I guess I better go check up on Saitama," she said as a yawn escaped her lips. She stretched her arms, hearing her shoulders make a relaxing popping noise as she slowly made her way to the train station. She still had a few hours before dark and figured she could take a relaxing train ride instead of just flying as usual. Sure, it would take about three to four hours, but was that really so bad?

"..." she walked in silence, glancing at the nearby shops, none of which appeared to sell candy nor sweets.

"This is fine. This is fine," she muttered, looking back at the police station. A growl escaped her lips. That wasn't right! She had been walking for a full minute now, how could the police station still be in sight?! Was walking really this slow?

"No, calm down. It's not a big deal..." she muttered as she continued walking. She had finally made it to the end of the street, right where the cross walk was. As she was about to cross the light turned green and dozens of cars blocked her path as they all zoomed through the street.

"...This isn't a big deal at all," she repeated as she watched the cars zoom by, tapping her foot impatiently as every second passed by. She breathed a sigh of relief as the light finally turned red, blocking the cars and finally allowing her to cross.

"Good afternoon!" an old man greeted as he easily outpaced Tatsumaki's walking speed.

"..." Tatsumaki glared at the old man's back. She sped up her walking speed, but still could not catch up to the old man. She broke into a jog, and yet still the old man outpaced her, getting further ahead at each step. She gritted her teeth in anger as she finally broke into a full on sprint. There was no way she could be beaten by some old guy!

However, due to lack of exercise she quickly fell to her knees in exhaustion, though the shortness of breath and pain in her legs were nothing compared to her feelings of shame.

"...Screw it, I'm flying," she muttered, making a mental note to exercise more often.

* * *

"Finally made it," Tatsumaki muttered as she landed in front of Saitama's apartment. Unlocking Saitama's door with her spare keys, she silently entered and made her way inside, stifling a yawn as she went into the kitchen to make herself something to eat.

"So, how did the job interview go?" Tatsumaki asked, shifting through the fridge to see what looked good.

"..." she was answered with silence.

"Saitama?" she called out, turning away from the fridge to look around the one bedroom apartment,and to her surprise the place was empty. Curiosity gripped her as she closed the fridge. Saitama should have been back from his interview by now...

A sigh escaped from her lips as she dragged her feet back outside. Knowing Saitama he probably got himself into trouble that she would have to bail him out of.

Luckily for her, she needn't look far. From the entrance of his apartment she could spot Saitama running around the block in his suit.

"Huh? When did Saitama start jogging?" she wondered aloud as she flew over, easily catching up to him. "What are you doing?"

"Training," he answered, breathing heavily as sweat poured down his face.

"Ah. Ok," Tatsumaki nodded as she continued to follow him. After several seconds of silence she decided to ask another question. "What are you training for?"

"I'm training to be a hero!" he said excitedly, much like a child. "I'm done being a salary man! I'm going to become the strongest hero! One who can defeat any opponent in one punch!" he said with a beaming smile.

"..." Tatsumaki remained silent, her mouth slightly agape as she stared at Saitama. Could it be his constant failures finally made him lose all semblance of sanity? "What about a job?"

"I'll work part time and live frugally."

"So you're going to continue living the same way you already do," she muttered, resisting the urge to sigh. He was going to end up owing her even more money, to the point she might as well convince him to move in with her and work off his debt. No way she was ever going to see that cash anyways.

"Oi, you alri-Gah!" Saitama screamed as he tripped over his own feet.

"Saitama!" Tatsumaki called out as she barely caught him. "Be more careful, idiot!" she said, slowly helping him up to his feet.

"Sorry," he muttered, looking at his watch. "Ten kilometers, good! I made it," he said with a smile, making his way to a nearby bench and sat down.

"T-ten kilometers?!" Tatsumaki stuttered. "Isn't that a bit overboard for a beginner?"

"...Eh?" Saitama shrugged, wiping the sweat from his brow. "I thought 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, 100 squats, and a ten kilometer run was a good idea. I'll stick with it for awhile to see how it goes."

"..." Tatsumaki silently glared at him, pinching the bridge of her nose in an attempt to calm her mind and rid herself of an incoming headache. "...I'm gonna get us something to drink."

"Thanks! You're so sweet," Saitama said with a smile, much to Tatsumaki's annoyance, though she chose not to say anything since it was a compliment. She quickly made her way to a nearby vending machine, and after buying their drinks, made her way back.

"Saitama, you really need to tone down your workout," Tatsumaki advised, practically throwing the drink at Saitama who barely caught it. "You can't just go from zero to fifty, you know!"

"But if I don't train hard, how can I be a hero?" Saitama asked, earning a glare. "Besides, I'll be fine as long as I have you."

"...W-whatever!" Tatsumaki yelled as she turned around, hiding a blush. Though she knew the blockhead meant that in an entirely platonic way, she couldn't stop her heart from pounding in her chest like a drum.

"Hey, you alri-"

"I'm getting something to eat, you want anything?" she interrupted, still refusing to turn around and look him in the eye.

'Ah, Tatsumaki can be pretty shy sometimes,' he thought with a smile. "No, I'm good," he replied, earning a condescending 'hmph' as Tatsumaki floated away back to the vending machine. Saitama slowly stood up, stretching his arms with a yawn. It was a good workout today, and if he played his cards right he might be able to get Tatsumaki to make dinner. Though, there was one more thing he wanted to do today...

"Eh, I can do it later," he muttered as Tatsumaki finally made her way back to him. Her birthday wasn't until next week anyways.

* * *

A/N: Romantic story with a birthday coming up? I wonder what lame cliché will happen next chapter?

Hint hint nudge nudge winky face.


	7. Happy birthday!

"Do you really have to take me to the amusement park _after_ your workout?" Tatsumaki asked nasally as she pinched her nose closed.

"What? I was in a hurry. Besides, I don't smell that bad," Saitama said, taking a whiff of his armpit. "...Maybe we should visit the spa first?"

"No, we're not!" Tatsumaki declined as she shoved a card into Saitama's face. "My reservation isn't until this afternoon! It's still morning!"

"Okay, then how about... Uh..." he trailed off, regretting meeting up with Tatsumaki right after his workout instead of heading home for a quick bath. "...Sorry."

"...Coming from you, your apology doesn't sound very sincere," Tatsumaki muttered. "Whatever, it's no big deal. We'll just cover you in perfume or something."

"Can it be cactus perfume? It's my favorite flower." Tatsumaki was fairly certain a cactus wasn't considered a flower, and was willing to bet a fair amount of money that there was no such thing as cactus perfume, but chose not to voice her thoughts. After all, Saitama was taking her out for her birthday.

"...There's no such thing as cactus perfume."

"What?!" Or rather, she wasn't until she remembered she was going to pay for everything, therefore negating the positive of Saitama taking her out for the day.

"Yup. Doesn't exist. Guess we'll have to go with rose."

"Why such a girly fragrance?" he sighed, making a heartfelt vow to always bathe before hanging out with Tatsumaki.

"Oh, pumpkin spice perfume is ten percent off."

"Oh, let's get that!" the vow was promptly forgotten in favor of smelling like a delicious autumn coffee.

After buying the cheap perfume and dousing Saitama in it until their noses no longer burned from his natural male musk, the two quickly made their way to the amusement park, excited to try the amazingly unhealthy food and, more importantly, the fast and vomit-inducing rides.

"What do you mean I'm too short for this ride?!"

Well, that was the plan at least.

"I'm sorry, kid, but you have to be at least this tall-" he said as he poked the sign that hanged over Tatsumaki's head, "in order to ride," and with a smile he patted Tatsumaki's head. "This is a ride for big kids!"

"But I'm twenty-five! Shouldn't that make it fine?!" Tatsumaki screamed, shoving her ID in the attendants face.

"Yeah, sure you are," the attendant said with a laugh. "Look, I'm sure you'll be tall enough next year, kid, so why don't you take a ride on the merry-go-round?" he said, ruffling Tatsumaki's hair affectionatly.

'Oh, he shouldn't have done that,' Saitama thought with dread.

"...I see," Tatsumaki said calmly, disturbingly so, much to Saitama's dismay.

'She's going to go to jail for murder, isn't she?' Saitama thought as he patted Tatsumaki's shoulder. "H-hey, it's fine. We'll just go on another-"

"It's been a long time," Tatsumaki muttered, her entire body glowing green, a vein popping out of her head as she stared blankly at the roller coaster attendant. "Since I've gotten mad."

"Ugh, your sis isn't going to throw a tantrum, is... She..." the attendant trailed off as he watched Tatsumaki float above him. He could only watch in awe as she lifted her arms, causing the roller coaster he was preventing her from entering to float into the air as well. The people riding the roller coaster screamed as she plucked each of them out of their seats. She gently placed them on the ground, for they were not the target of her aggression, and then swiftly and violently threw the entire ride skywards, never to be seen by humans again.

 _Two and a half years later..._

"LORD BOROS! Some sort of alien contraption just struck our ship!" Geryuganshoop screamed in shock.

"Huh? That's weird," Boros muttered, excitement starting to build up. "Are we being attacked?"

"No, it doesn't appear so..."

"Oh," Boros muttered, boredom beginning to seep in again. And here he was hoping to kill a couple of minutes of boredom.

"But it did come from the direction of this 'earth'..."

"A preemptive strike?" Boros asked thoughtfully, though he felt he already knew the answer. "No, it's more likely that this attack means they know we're coming, and have issued a formal challenge! That would explain there being only one strike instead of an unrelenting barrage!"

"I don't know, looks more like trash to me-"

"Geryuganshoop! Use the ships slingshot mechanism to launch something, anything, to let them know we accept!" A devious smirk formed upon Boros's lips as he sauntered over to a nearby computer, looking through the data for something befitting his adversaries, when finally he came upon exactly what he was looking for.

"Yes, that giant meteor should do, and it should get there a good month or two before we do! That's sure to let them know that we accept, and are almost upon them..."

"I guess this means instead of showing up and requesting a formal challenge, we'll just go in guns blazing... I have a good feeling about this." Groribas muttered jovially, excited at the prospect of using all twenty of his amazing techniques.

 _Two and a half years ago..._

"Come on! What's taking so long?!" Tatsumaki whined, pacing around in her jail cell. "At this rate we're going to be late for our spa appointment!"

Saitama chose to ignore Tatsumaki, choosing to instead eat the udon he ordered with their one phone call.

"Yeah, you're right. I should just calm down. Deep breaths. Deep. Breaths," she repeated, continuing her mantra before her anger got the better of her again.

Several minutes passed, their jail cell as quiet as a mouse, save for Saitama's slurping.

"Okay, I'm calm," Tatsumaki said with a smile. It was at this point Saitama finally turned to Tatsumaki with an outstretched hand.

"Want some beef lo mein?"

"Oh come on!" Tatsumaki screamed as she began banging against the cell doors. "Can't they just slap a fine on us and let us be?! It was only a roller coaster, not the friggin Taj Mahal!"

"What's a Taj Mahal?" Saitama wondered aloud, once again ignoring the screaming half pint. "Maybe if I give it to her early, she'll calm down?" he wondered, before throwing out the idea entirely, after all, how could he give it to her when he left it in his underwear drawer?

"Oh come on! Let us go alrea-"

"Pardon me, but are you Tatsumaki-san?"

"...What of it?" she asked, looking at the owner of the voice. A man in a scruffy beard and a fancy suit was standing in front of her cell, fidgeting with his tie as he looked at everything and anything in the cell that wasn't her.

"Well, I represent the Hero Association, and we've been watching you for a long time-"

"Hero Association?" Tatsumaki interrupted, holding back a laugh. "What, you and a bunch of other 'heroes' dress up in spandex and hang out in a tree house while your mother serves you milk and cookies, not inter-" she paused, not at all minding the milk and cookies bit. "...Yeah, not interested," she said, deciding that hanging out with a bunch of creeps wasn't worth it.

The rep sighed, pinching his nose in exasperation. "No, Ma'am. We are a government sanctioned group, dedicating to protect the public from the rampaging monsters that have been plaguing-"

"Not interested."

"-The world for some time. Members such as myself go out to recruit possible heroes-"

"Didn't you hear what I said? I'm. Not. Interested."

"...Such as yourself," he finished, earning a growl from Tatsumaki. "Using the donations from the public, we plan to fund shelters designed to withstand-"

"I'm going to ignore you now," Tatsumaki said as she stared at a nearby clock, tapping her foot in agitation. If they didn't leave soon they were going to miss their spa appointment.

"...We're willing to pay your bail, pay off the amusement park, and offer you a twenty percent discount card for "Sweet's Emporium" if you join the Hero's Association."

"...What do I have to do?"

"Take out bounties and kill monsters," the rep said, deciding against using a heroic speech.

"And if I join, I can leave now?" Tatsumaki asked, earning a nod from the rep. "...Deal. Saitama!" she called out, earning Saitama's attention.

"What? Wait, who's that guy-" he was cut off as Tatsumaki ripped the iron bars from their cell. "...We're not breaking out, are we-"

"Send me the info in the mail, we're leaving," Tatsumaki said as she grabbed Saitama by the hair, before flying at full speed out of the police station, blasting through several walls with reckless abandon.

The rep sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, before taking out his cell phone and calling his superiors to let them know how much they exactly owed the police.

* * *

"You're pulling my hair out!" Saitama screamed painfully.

"It'll grow back!" Tatsumaki replied, eyes brightening up as she slowed to a stop. "Saitama! The spa! We're gonna make-"

When all of a sudden a giant, scaly foot fell from the heavens and crushed half of the building, nearly killing all of the residents.

"Mwuahaha!" Laughed what appeared to be a giant gecko. "I, The Fierce Gecky the Gecko, have come to conquer the world! After collecting and bathing with a thousand geckos, I-BWAAAH!"

In an instant, Fierce Gecky the Gecko was torn asunder by a mysterious force, twisting and turning into a meat tornado all thanks to the efforts of Z-city's resident esper, Tatsumaki. The most powerful esper in the world, who would one day be rumored to be an unstoppable monster. She, who was currently down on her knees trying her damnedest not to cry.

"Those reservations cost me an arm and a leg..." she sulked, turning to glare at the remains of Fierce Gecky the Gecko. "I hope they have a special place for you, in hell."

It was at that moment Saitama chose to sit next to her, placing his hand on her shoulder and giving a gentle squeeze.

"Wanna get some ice cream?"

"...Sure," Tatsumaki said with a shrug, all but forgetting about her spa reservations.

After a quick trip to the ice cream store, the two decided to head back to Saitama's place, where Fubuki was found watching tv, surrounded by balloons, an un-hung "Happy Birthday, Sis" ribbon laying next to her, and confetti spread all across the apartment, much to Saitama's annoyance.

"Hey, I thought you were going to-"

"Happy birthday, sis!" Fubuki cried, using her psychic powers to whirl the birthday ribbon around Tatsumaki, popping the balloons as loudly as possible, and flying the confetti around the apartment, causing Saitama to choke on his words.

"Aw, that's so sweet!" Tatsumaki said with a smile, hugging Fubuki tightly.

"...Where's 'Pin the tail on the donkey'?" Saitama wondered between coughs, the two sisters ignoring him.

"So, what's the agenda, sis?" Tatsumaki asked before being handed a plate of chocolate cake.

"Well, you know how you love those..." Fubuki trailed off, shifting her eyes around the room, before lowering her voice to a mere whisper. "Magical girl shows?" at that she got a nod. "Well, I got you several blu-rays of-" she shoved the cases into Tatsumaki's hands, "Puella Magi Madoka Magica!"

"...We're gonna binge watch this, together?"

"Yup!" Fubuki said, eliciting a sadistic smirk from Tatsumaki.

"You've never heard of this show, have you?" she asked, earning a curious glance from Fubuki.

"No, why do you ask?"

"No reason."

The next three hours were so heart breaking and earth shattering for Fubuki, she had to excuse herself for the day, promising to make it up to Tatsumaki by binge watching Sailor Moon instead, much to Tatsumaki's delight.

"This show's pretty good, actually," Saitama said, taking out the blu-ray and putting it away. "Only three episodes left, though you kinda look tired," he noted as Tatsumaki stifled a yawn.

"Yeah, I should get going," Tatsumaki said. "I would help you clean the place up, but you didn't get me anything for my birthday, so I guess this is proper punishment," she said with a smirk as she gathered her newly acquired blu-rays and quickly went for the door.

"Well, I did actually get you something."

"Eh?!" Tatsumaki looked back at Saitama, nearly dropping her movies in shock.

"I know I owe you money, and I will pay you back eventually, but I wanted to get you something nice," Saitama said as he got up from his seat and went over to his underwear drawer.

"...You're not going to give me a pair of your old underwear, are you?" Tatsumaki muttered, though Saitama chose to ignore her. After a second or two of rummaging in his drawer, he finally found what he was looking for and walked back to Tatsumaki.

"I couldn't afford putting it on an earring or necklace, so I just bought the gem itself." he said, handing her a small, green gem. Tatsumaki's eyes widened, looking at the small emerald, and smiled. She wasn't a jewel expert, and given that Saitama was prone to being mislead she wouldn't be all that surprised that he got jipped, but the fact he actually got her something was... Was...

"...Thank you," Tatsumaki said with a smile, holding the small gem against her rapidly beating heart as she placed a tender kiss on Saitama's cheek, causing him to blush.

"Uh, you're welcome. I'm glad you like it..." he muttered, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment.

The two sat next to each other, fidgeting in their seats as neither one of them knew what to say next. After a few moments, Saitama knew he would have to make the next move, and decided to just ask Tatsumaki the million dollar question:

"So... Wanna go out for udon?"


	8. 3 Years Later

_Three Years Later..._

Tatsumaki soared high above the destruction zone of A city, carefully watching and listening for any explosions. A demon class monster was spotted rampaging through the area, and the hero association, instead of calling a S class hero who actually lived near A city, decided to call her all the way in from Z city.

"Where is it?" she mumbled, coming to a halt. Not ten seconds ago she could hear explosions and screams from a mile away, but now, nothing. She could hear nothing but the crumbling buildings and the debris blowing in the wind. Though she knew she could easily handle this threat, she couldn't help but feel unnerved by the deathly silence.

She could only think of two reasons as to why this was happening: Either the monster was already defeated by another hero, or it had spotted her and decided to lurk in the shadows, waiting for her to let down her guard and strike when she was most vulnerable. She could barely stop herself from laughing at the latter, if this monster truly thought it could catch her of all heroes off-guard, then it truly had no idea who it was dealing-

"Damn iiiiiit!" a familiar howl reached her ears, causing her to groan in annoyance. This shout confirmed her first theory, a hero had already come by and slew the monster. She flew to the source of the noise, irritation beginning to set in.

"I swear, if he already killed the monster, I am going to..." she trailed off, finding a man in a yellow jumpsuit kneeling in front of purple blood soaked terrain. Her eyes twitched in annoyance as she landed behind the man, her arm raised above her head.

"Why? Why is it always-" and thwacked him as hard as she could. "...Oh, hi, Tatsumaki-chan," the man turned around, to find Tatsumaki wildly massaging her fist. "Ah, did you hit me again? You really need to stop doing that," he said as he took her hand in his own and gently blew on it.

"And you need to start answering my texts!" she replied, earning a questioning glance. "I texted you, asking if you were on your way! If you could just take a second to send me a yes or no, I wouldn't be wasting my time flying all the way to another city for no reason, baldy!"

"...Text message?" he mumbled, fumbling in his pocket for his phone. After a few seconds of digging around, he faced Tatsumaki with an apologetic smile. "Uh... Don't be mad, but..." he trailed off, showing Tatsumaki bits of pieces of what she assumed was his phone. "I think I broke it."

"...You think?" she repeated, resisting the urge to smack him again. Groaning in annoyance, she quickly ripped her hand out of Saitama's and began floating away from Saitama. "That was even a Nokia. How do you even break a Nokia?" she mumbled to herself, ignoring the buffoon that was following close behind her.

"Hey, what should we do about the kid?"

"The Hero Association will be here soon, they can handle her better than either of us."

"Mmm," he hummed in agreement, neither of them were good with people, let alone children. "Oh, that reminds me!" he said as he rummaged though his other pocket, before taking out a newspaper clipping and showing it off to Tatsumaki.

"...Recently orphaned children remind you of sales?" she asked, a hint of disgust in her voice. "Well, whatever. Seafood does sound good right now," she muttered, taking the clipping from Saitama.

"And it's in B-city, so it's on the way home!" Saitama said as he took Tatsumaki's hand in his own.

"Hey! You don't need to drag me, jerk!" Tatsumaki's screams of complaint was ignored as Saitama quickly made his way towards B city, unwilling to slow down in fear of missing out on such a great sale.

* * *

"That'll be four hundred and fifty yen!" the cashier said with a smile.

"Right," Saitama said, rummaging through his coin purse for the change.

"Come on, hurry up-" Tatsumaki was cut off as she felt the ground beneath her shake with great might. "Huh? What the heck was-"

"Ah, here it is!" Saitama said as he held out the coins. "Huh? She's running?" Saitama muttered.

"Probably cause of the earthquake, idiot," Tatsumaki said, floating in the air to avoid falling over. "It'll pass in a few-" she was cut off as a giant foot crushed half of the store, barely missing her by a few inches. "...Or it's a monster," she said with a shrug, watching as the giant, naked man raised his arm, preparing to crush the city.

"That looks like fun!" Saitama said as he leapt onto the monsters shoulder, causing Tatsumaki to sigh.

"This is why your fights always have collateral damage," she muttered as she flew in front of the giant, easily blocking his strike with a powerful psychic shield.

"Ugh! "Who are you?!" a man on the giant's right shoulder screamed, pointing his disgustingly skinny finger at her.

"Hmph! If you must know, I'm class S, rank 2 hero, Senritsu no-"

"Put some pants on," Saitama said, causing the giant titan and the man on his shoulder to glare at him.

"And who the hell are you?!" the man screamed, now completely ignoring Tatsumaki.

"Hey! Ignore the baldy! You're fighting me-"

"Hey!" Saitama screamed out at Tatsumaki. "Don't go around calling my 'baldy', midget!" he yelled out, earning a glare from Tatsumaki.

"Who did you just call a 'midget', baldy?!" Tatsumaki screamed, having half a mind to throw a skyscraper at him.

"How dare you ignore Beef Cake and I?! I'll make you pay for this!" the man called out, though he was ignored by both parties.

"I wouldn't have called you midget if you didn't call me baldy!"

"And I wouldn't have called you baldy if you didn't interrupt me!" Tatsumaki shot back.

"Well what did you want me to do? He's naked!" Saitama asked, pointing at the naked Beef Cake. "Speaking of which, seriously, dude. Put some pants on," Saitama demanded, earning a growl from Beef Cake.

"I... I..." he muttered, glaring at Tatsumaki as he raised his fist. "I am the stronge-"

"Whatever," Tatsumaki said as she flicked her finger, snapping Beef Cake's neck in an instant. "Well, that's over with-" causing him to fall over and destroy a large portion of B City.

"...Oops," Tatsumaki muttered, landing near Beef Cake's shoulder and next to Saitama.

"Aww," Saitama said, looking at Beef Cake in disappointment. "And here I was hoping for a strong opponent," he whined, before turning to Tatsumaki. "So, what now-"

"We run," Tatsumaki said, grabbing onto Saitama's hand and quickly flying the two out of there. "We run and we pretend we had nothing to do with this!"

Meanwhile, a nearby cowering man looked over the rubble and sighed.

"Oh, that was way too close," he muttered before picking up a nearby game case he dropped. "It's a good thing my "Adorable Little Sisters: Love is Forever" wasn't damaged. I don't think I'd be able to sleep at night if this got broken." and with that the man walked away, his head held up high as he successfully defended his new video game.

* * *

"So, have you considered going pro, yet?" Tatsumaki finally spoke up after having put significant distance between themselves and B City.

"...Now's not the best time," Saitama said, earning a groan from Tatsumaki.

"Oh, come on already! I'm tired of the Hero Association giving me credit for your work! It's making me look bad!"

"How is beating more monsters making you look bad?" Saitama asked, not at all understanding how that worked.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you destroy half the city whenever you fight?" Tatsumaki wondered rhetorically before turning to Saitama with a glare. "I keep telling them you're the one taking out those monsters, but they just think I'm trying to get you a high rank when you don't deserve it just cause you're my boyfriend."

"...But didn't you just cause huge collateral damage fighting that giant naked man?" Saitama asked, earning a glare. "And besides, you shouldn't worry about it," Saitama said with a wave of his arm. "You never cared what people said about you before, why now?"

"I don't care, it's just annoying hearing about it everyday."

Saitama stayed silent for the rest of the trip, mulling over what Tatsumaki said in his head. As they finally approached their house, he turned to Tatsumaki and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Tatsumaki-chan, do you know why I have yet to register with the Association?"

"...Because you don't want to go alone?" she asked, earning herself a chuckle from Saitama.

"Eh, don't be ridiculous. It's nothing so petulant," he said with a smile. "It's for the exact reason the Association has been hounding you. As you've said, my fights often end with massive collateral damage. As a hero, I must defeat my opponents swiftly with minimal damage, so that the good people of this world could go on with their lives as if nothing happened. Until that day arrives, I have no right to call myself a professional hero," Saitama said, his voice filled to the brim with determination to achieve this difficult goal.

"...So you just don't want to register on your own? That's fine." Tatsumaki, however, wasn't buying his bullshit.

"...Heh, believe what you want," Saitama said with a smirk, though from the way he was darting his eyes about, Tatsumaki was sure she hit the nail on the head.

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter," she said with a shrug, choosing to drop the subject. "I'm going to go visit Fubuki. Don't do anything weird while I'm gone."

After a nice, peaceful day spent with her sister, Tatsumaki finally decided to head home for the evening. It was rare for her to walk around town with a smile, but her day out with her little sis had gone extremely well.

"I wonder if Saitama cooked dinner yet?" she asked herself as she opened the front door to their house.

Only to find a naked Saitama carrying around a broken down cyborg in desperate need for repairs.

"Hi, Tatsumaki-chan," Saitama said with a wave, as if nothing was amiss.

"...Who the hell is-"

"Is that your little sister?"

"Little?! Sister?!" Tatsumaki screamed, glaring at the broken down robot. "Now, listen here, you broken down toaster, I'm-"

"That's my girlfriend, Genos," Saitama said as he laid Genos down and walked towards the laundry room.

"Y-your girlfriend?!" Genos screamed in shock. "Sensei, no. Saitama! How could you?!"

"...How could I what?" he asked, confused at the disgusted look he was receiving.

"You know damn well, Saitama!" Genos screamed, lifting himself up with his one arm. "How could you take advantage of an innocent girl in elementary school?! Have you no-"

"I'm older than you, brat!" Tatsumaki screamed, slamming Genos into the ground with her telekinetic abilities. "What is with everyone thinking I'm a child?! Do I look that young to you?"

"...Yes," Genos foolishly replied.

"Oh, you're going to regret those words, brat," Tatsumaki muttered dangerously, slamming Genos against the walls of their house, cracking and breaking them in the process. Saitama looked on in despair as he watched his newly acquired house get torn asunder.

"Maybe I should have warned him beforehand," Saitama muttered, before shrugging the thought off. Saitama, due to years of experience of dealing with an angry Tatsumaki, knew exactly what to do in this particular situation. Quickly finding a decently clean pair of pants and a clean, yet slightly tattered shirt, he quickly made his way out the door, leaving Genos to his undeserved fate.

After a minute or two of running around different convenience stores, Saitama finally returned, trying his best not to let his broken down house get to him. "At least it's still standing," he reasoned with himself as he walked up to a now calm Tatsumaki.

"S-sensei," Genos greeted. "I apol-apolo-apolo-ZZZPPPT- I'm sorry for the misunderstanding earlier."

"Ah, no problem," Saitama said with a shrug, sitting down next to Genos. "So... You gonna be okay?" he said, poking Genos's exposed spine.

"Yes. Tatsumaki-Dono stopped before any serio-seri-seriou-ZZZPPPT- she stopped." Saitama was starting to think leaving Genos and Tatsumaki alone was a bad idea.

"I think I may have gone overboard," Tatsumaki muttered. "Why did you leave anyways? You could have easily stopped-" she stopped herself as Saitama held out a small lollipop.

"It took awhile to find one on sale," Saitama said as he unwrapped the candy and plopped it into Tatsumaki's mouth.

"If that is all it takes to calm Tatsumaki-dono down," Genos said, struggling to lift himself up. "I would have used my sugary treats dispenser."

"...You're what-" Saitama stopped, eyes widening as Genos's stomach popped open, dispensing chocolate bars and fruity delicious lollipops.

"He's like a living pinata..." Tatsumaki muttered, torn between whether or not she wanted candy from such a thing.

"Uh, Genos? Why do you have candy in your stomach?" Saitama asked, glancing over to see Tatsumaki's reaction. He had never seen her so indecisive.

"The Professor frequently gives me sweets to snack on when I'm out searching for information," Genos replied. "These particular sweets are about a month old-"

"Don't eat those," Saitama ordered, grabbing onto Tatsumaki's collar in case she tried to leap onto the pile of candy.

"Hmph. You're acting as if I have no self control," Tatsumaki said, sending a deathly glare at Saitama. "As if I'd eat something that was in some toaster's stomach," she said, slapping away Saitama's hand.

"Ah, my apologies," Genos said, scooping the candy back into his stomach. "I should have known better, please forgive me, Tatsumaki-dono," he said with his best attempt at a bow.

"Hmph, it's fine," Tatsumaki muttered, inwardly cursing Saitama to a fate worse than death, and mentally berating herself for letting such a delicious chance slip through her fingers.

"Ah, he's here," Genos muttered, doing his best to look behind himself. He turned back to Saitama and Tatsumaki, bowing to the two before crawling towards one of the shattered windows. "Thank you for allowing me to wait for Doctor Kuseno in your home, Saitama-sensei. I shall return for my training when my repairs are finished!" Genos proclaimed, throwing himself out the window, startling several passerby's and stray cats.

"...Training?" Tatsumaki asked, turning towards Saitama with a questioning look, to which he only shrugged.

"I dunno, I wasn't really paying attention when I was carrying him around." Saitama said as he got up and headed towards the kitchen. "I'm gonna go call the hero association. If I tell them we were attacked by monsters, do you think they'll repair the house for free?"

"Probably," Tatsumaki replied, not really caring. If worse came to worse, they could always move in with Fubuki, and Tatsumaki was fairly certain nothing would bring her little sister more joy than living with her older sister again.

Meanwhile, as Fubuki was sipping a cup of tea, a stray thought suddenly came to her. She didn't know from whence it came, but the irresistible urge to move into the smallest apartment possible just wouldn't leave her mind.


End file.
